Thursday, July 07, 2011

... And for those of you here for an Abbott update

He's turning into such a little boy. He doesn't even look like a baby anymore. I know that's strange to say, since he's obviously a baby, but there was something about the way he waved goodbye to me today that was just so boyish. Like, peace, mom, see ya later. It's a little bit heartbreaking.

It's so fascinating to watch him learn and process things. Yesterday, I believed he would never learn how to back down the stairs; he had stranded himself on the landing hundreds of times. But then he did it. He never ceases to amaze me.

Here are some recent pics. He loves the piano ... and cameras.

Wednesday, July 06, 2011

I keep forgetting that forgetting is not forgiving

So I'm in a new job, getting to know people, letting them get to know me. And you know me, so you know that can be somewhat unpredictable.

One guy has become an unexpected partner in crime. It's not a boy-girl kind of thing; we just agree on surprising things, given our wildly divergent world views. We work together well and we get a lot done. It's great. The other day we had an exchange about the state of the economy and he messaged me, "Enjoy your weekend, Brain. -Pinky"

Innocent, right? It scared the shit out of me.

It made me wonder if one day he would become sexually aggressive with me, like someone else I had trusted. And to say sexually aggressive doesn't seem quite right; What I can say is that I trusted him, and he used sex aggressively. He, too, was a partner in crime with whom I had accomplished so much. And he was battling alcoholism at the time, and a disintegrating home life. And I was another woman, probably trying to gang up on him.

This was several years ago. I don't see him or talk to him anymore. The last I heard, he was sober. At that time, I considered getting back in contact. I thought I had forgiven him. Surprise! I haven't. And it's holding no one back but me.