Sunday, June 20, 2010

But I guess what I'm really looking forward to when I start pumping

is all the phone calls I'm gonna get!

I mean, you know, I've never pumped. Maybe it WILL be this constant cavalcade of calls. But seriously?

Friday, June 18, 2010

Puns I love to say but that Jeffrey equally hates to hear

1. Sean "Puffy" Feet. This is how I describe my edema.

2. Egg Bagelly Jr. This pleases me to no end. Plus I've been saying it a lot since our refrigerator has been dead and we've had to eat out for breakfast, lunch and dinner for two weeks. And the thing is, it's not like it even works on more than one level, because I don't get any junior-sized anything. It's a full-on size for sure!

Monday, June 14, 2010

The apple and the tree and all that

So Jeffrey and I are powering forward in Project Nursery 2K10, even though it is way too hot for such activities. Today as I was cleaning, I noticed the vacuum hose didn't have any suction. Turns out there was a big clog of hair and kettle corn (don't ask) stuck about halfway up the hose. So I scoured the house for something long and narrow enough to get at the mess. I settled on a cheap wire hanger from the dry cleaner, you know, with the flimsy cardboard tube on the bottom instead of a piece of wood? And as I was plying it into a long wire with a hook at the end, Jeffrey said, as he often does, "You got a lot of the old man in you. You think maybe you should give him a call?"

I don't have the best relationship with my dad. It's been worse, for sure, but there's a lot of room for improvement there. And I realize that a lot of that room is on my end. He did call last.

And the thing is, I have a TON of the old man in me. But mostly I just think about the negative stuff. On occasion, Jeffrey reminds me of the good stuff, too, like the ability to jury-rig useful household items. That's just one more thing I appreciate about him.

Wednesday, June 09, 2010

Big questions from small people

My friend Evil Brian's young daughter asked him today why people went to heaven. At first I thought it was pretty cute, but then it gave me a moment of panic. How are we going to answer questions on this matter?

I mean, right now I'm an atheist. I believe in goodness and humanity and love, but I'm also pretty skeptical. And I guess I think it's one of my better qualities. I don't think that I will change. I mean, I could. I only became an atheist maybe 3 years ago. So, could I change back? Maybe. I was a goddist before that. And Jeffrey's beliefs are not quite as clearly cut.

Anyway, I feel like I have to prepare for these questions. I mean, how early can you really introduce concepts like subjectivity? I mean, I imagine that in the early years, you rely on the concept of absolute right and wrong to keep the kid alive. Don't hit. Don't put that in your mouth. Don't touch that. I am right, and you  must listen to me.

But when does "Here are some things that some people -- in fact, most members of your extended family -- believe in but your mom happens to not be one of them" come in? The idea of beliefs at all? In my early schooling, it was just fact vs. opinion, that which is provable vs. that which is felt or judged. What the hell are these beliefs anyway? Not provable, but pertaining to facts, not opinions. How early does a brain grasp this?

Also, like I said, I came to atheism as an adult, and it was a somewhat harsh conversion. Would it be better to cushion the kid with some comfort at first? I mean, right now I don't think so. But I do think I need to ask all the questions.

Tuesday, June 08, 2010

Credit where it's due

OK, so. I think most of Roxette's canon is drek. You know, that Swedish bubblegum pop duo with really severe hair from a couple decades ago? I mean, it's enjoyable drek, but seriously, it's bad. And by most, I mean it would definitely round to 100 percent, regardless of number of significant digits. Here's a sample of one of their No. 1 hits:

She's got the look
she's got the look
what in the world can make a brown-eyed girl turn blue
when everything I'll ever do
I'll do for you and I go
la la la la la
she's got the look 


And who could forget this?

She says hello, you fool, I love you
Come on, join the joyride 

So a bunch of meaningless garbage, right? But yesterday I heard one of their lyrics on the radio and thought, man, that is kind of nice imagery:

I know there's something in the wake of your smile. 

It was sort of like finding a diamond in a big mound of trash. Or maybe more like finding a safe-looking, fully wrapped Ring Pop in a big mound of trash. Anyway, this is many years too late, but way to go, Roxette.