Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Sometimes craziness just sneaks up on you

I've been feeling a little anxious lately. I figured it was because we have a big trip coming up (we're going to our annual memorial for my mom on Thursday) and because there's a lot of change afoot at work. I mean, a lot of crazy-go-nuts change, all starting today. But I was wrong about that. I found out today in a card store why I'm feeling crazy right now:

Man next to me in line: Can I get a balloon that says "Happy Birthday Pearl"?
Cashier: Sure, we can put her name on the B10 balloon. But you know, you can buy a whole bouquet for just $5.49.
Man next to me in line: No thanks. (pause) My wife died several years ago. (pause) Never forget.

I passed him on my way out the door. I looked him in the eyes and tried to smile, but I had already started crying.

My mom's birthday is in 2 days. For some reason, Mother's Day wasn't that hard for me this year, but this is going to be. After my mom died, I said, sort of cavalierly, that I wasn't going to have a wedding because she won't be there. But now there's a wedding. We signed the contract on the hotel last week. We got the contract on the boat yesterday. And still, she won't be there.

That's all there is to say about that.

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