My friend Jim and I used to talk about how we'd flip out in the office. I can't remember, but one of us plotted to just curl up in fetal on the floor, rocking back and forth and singing dirges. Why the dirges? They just seemed right, I guess. Tonight I pondered some of my other options. Here's what I came up with:
1. Calmly, but exclusively, start speaking in Vietnamese. Answer questions only in Vietnamese, and do so looking like there's nothing wrong. Get alarmed only when others do.
Pros: No one would know what the heck I was saying and it's plausibly crazy. "Jeez, Judy just stopped speaking English."
Con: I would have to start over with the words I know very quickly.
2. Start to dress radically inappropriately for the weather. With spring coming up, that's going to mean one thing: layers. A lot of wool, maybe some tweed. And a wool hat on all the time.
Pros: It would be hard for co-workers to broach. It's also something I could start gradually, lending more realism to it.
Cons: Obviously, sweat will be an issue. I can't stand to be hot. I don't even like hot drinks on a cold day. So I would have to weigh the benefit of seeming crazy against actually driving myself crazy.
OK, that's all I got right now.