Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Things I do and do not believe in

First, let's start with the positive:

I DO believe in Paula Abdul. I know it sounds strange, but I currently adore her. A couple months ago I quit the workout facility that will not be named because it was charging me more than $50 a month to feel guilty about not going. So I started running. When it became clear that my squatty body was made for something else, I turned to Paula. She always is so encouraging, telling me I did a great job. You know, even if it's on a DVD and I hear the same thing day after day, it's nice to have that in my life. I look forward to it. She's a good dancer with a huge amount of kinetic intelligence. Plus she seems very, very nice. I've never seen her on that singing show but I did just buy another one of her dance workout DVDs. I haven't done it all the way through yet, but I did hear her say, "OK, we're going to learn the hoedown." I mean, really.

OK. Enough of that. But realize I REALLY REALLY believe in Paula Abdul. That Emilio's an idiot.

I DO NOT believe in the thermo-protective powers of fleece. I just don't. It may be cozy and soft, but I believe it does not have the warming powers of a natural fiber. I have never had on a piece of fleece outerwear and thought, man, I am WARM. It's more like, man, what the hell use is this thin piece of nothing I'm wearing? I think the popularity of fleece is a conspiracy, and that everyone who raves about it is getting a cut. Now, that said, it is very cold in my apartment, and I don't have a leather sweater for just lazing about in, so I am *considering* buying a fleece pull-over. So, um, any suggestions?

And here's a new one to add to my list: I DO NOT believe in dry cleaning. I asked my hotel in Florida, in order to make up for the maybe-maybe-not bed bugs in my room, to launder my clothes. I had read on the internets (man, I never get tired of saying that) that bed bugs die in the dryer. Well, instead, my clothes came back dry-cleaned. It was pretty funny to see my ratty t-shirts and pajama bottoms on hangers and hermetically sealed in the hotel lobby. Now, without getting into too many details, I can tell you that I don't think they're clean. I mean, they're pressed nicely. But how can they be clean without getting wet? It's unnatural. I believe in the cleaning powers of wet.

OK, that's all for now.

1 comment:

Maliavale said...

I shake my fist at your nonbelief of fleecular properties, but I'll spare you the rehashing of my arguments for the eighth time.

However, "I believe in the cleaning power of wet" is by far my favorite sentence of the day.