Thursday, December 14, 2006

I'm feeling that feeling again. I'm playing a game I can't win.

OK, $20 to anyone who can name that song lyric without googling it.

I'm guessing it'll be the Eva Brian formerly known as Evil Brian.

I had my VER test today. They hooked up electrodes to my head and face (they exfoliated first; that patch of skin is SO NICE now!) and then flashed a checkerboard pattern at me to see how the impulses go through my brain. I got to wear an eyepatch. My neurologist happened to be right there, so he interpreted the results and told me that they were normal. Also, he said the MRI showed some abnormalities, but he was unlikely to call it MS. He looked sort of flummoxed when he told me he didn't know what it is.

So now we're waiting on all those blood tests, which can take up to a week.

So I'm back to not knowing, which is sort of hard for me. I think I had come to terms with the MS diagnosis. I know that it probably not being MS is good news, but only if what it is is better. I don't mean to be pessimistic, truly, but I just feel like I'm never going to know what it is.

I did go into the office today for a couple hours to test my tolerance. It wasn't great. I was pretty dizzy by the end, after going through my 288 e-mails, the vast majority of which no longer pertained to me or any of their recipients. It was really nice to see people, though. I laid low in the redesign grotto, the site of my near-collapse a couple weeks ago.

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